M is for the many things

It's hard for me to pick out a Mother's Day card for my mother. So many times I'll read the sentiment and think, no, that's just not my mom. Not her and not our relationship. If I were to send her one of those, it would be insincere on my part and probably perceived as bullshit by her. I do always find an appropriate card, but it's not easy.

My mom and I live far away from each other. It might be indicative of the emotional distance as well. We don't see eye to eye on many things. We don't communicate on much more than a superficial level and never have. I write her every other week. I speak with her on the phone every other week. Sometimes she writes back (she's very old so I cut her a lot of slack on writing). But any time I have tried to talk about anything substantial, there is no response.

If I wanted to, I could dwell on a lot of things that aren't right about my relationship with my mom. But you know what? I'm here, and I'm doing pretty well. I can credit my mom with a lot of things that I think are right about me, including my fundamental honesty and my sense of justice and fairness. And she is someone I can look up to in many ways. She is one of the most tireless volunteers I know, and that's a great example for me. She also gave me my earliest sense of style.

So Happy Mother's Day to my mom! Our relationship might not be everything I wish it were, but we're still talking. And we actually do better in person. I'm looking forward to seeing her this summer.

1 comment:

Holly said...