2014/07/31

Pride goeth (and cometh)

It's that time of year again: Vancouver Pride Week, with the big Pride weekend almost here. This is when I ask myself things such as, how queer do I feel? Which events will I get up the energy to go to? Which events will I miss and regret not having gone to? Where will I be with friends? Where will I feel lonely?

Being bisexual and femme, maybe I ask these questions more than many other queer people would. Or maybe it's just me. It's true that I spend much of my time in a fairly heteronormative world. Most of my closest friends are straight. I belong to a book club where I'm reasonably sure I'm the only one who's queer.

Even though I'm at ease in the wide world and pretty much myself no matter where I am, it's probably true that I am most at home and most myself among queer people. There are things I can talk about with queer people that aren't usually, shall we say, topics of polite conversation. At least not among most women. I love the openness with my queer friends. I love the freedom.

And yet sisterhood is not automatic. I've been at queer events where I felt very much the outsider because I wasn't already hanging out with one or more people. Cliques are not a heterosexual thing. We are not always one big happy queer family. Having one thing in common, even if that's a pretty big thing and much broader than just who one finds attractive, does not mean there are not other barriers.

I have made a lot of new connections since last Pride. It will be interesting to see how strong they are. I'm hoping for a good Pride! I'm planning on having fun and being fun.

There's a lovely backup even if Pride isn't what I might hope for: the Vancouver Queer Film Festival. That really does feel like one big family among staff members, volunteers, and film goers. I'm very much looking forward to that.

2 comments:

Coline said...

"There are things I can talk about with queer people that aren't usually, shall we say, topics of polite conversation. At least not among most women. I love the openness with my queer friends."

My orientation is not the be all and end all of who I am and whatever my preferences might be I would not expect a group of similarly oriented folk to provoke me to make such a report.

I am not sure that the often grotesque carnival of "pride" events does much to enhance the reputation or cause of those attracted to same sex partners.

I think a great handicap to universal acceptance is the loud and proud, in your face attitude of many in the gay community. If people could keep their politics, religion and sexual orientation to themselves rather than shout them out in the streets the world might be a finer place to live.

I have had to think hard to categorize my friends sexuality since it is not something which really comes up, I can only think of two instances in the last decade or more when sex has ever been a topic of conversation...

Just my thoughts, no offence take if you just delete my comment.

Véro B said...

I'm well aware of the controversy, Felix. I understand it well, and I respect how people feel, even if many don't respect that I disagree (not completely, but partly). And it seems most have embraced the festival and all the good that Out On Screen and Out In Schools do despite any qualms. The issue will not go away, and I know for a fact that those running Out On Screen take it seriously.