I'm usually a fairly strong and together person, but from time to time I feel overwhelmed by life. I'm not sure why. It's not as though I have a difficult life. But sometimes the complexities of modern living are too much for me.
The day started off pretty well, although I did have to scramble a bit for a school project. For one of my classes, three of us are doing a presentation on how to play Texas Holdem poker. The two guys know how to play. I know how to play draw poker, but I'm a total novice when it comes to the specifics of Texas Holdem, so I've been catching up. I had to put some material together before meeting with them. Presentations are stressful, and shared presentations even more so.
My mood might also have had something to do with a book I was reading as I rode to school on the bus: Rat Girl by Kristin Hersh. Hersh is a musician, now solo, formerly of Throwing Muses. The book is based on a diary she wrote when she was 19, trying to get a degree at a Rhode Island university while playing in the band. It's the year that she learns that she has bipolar disorder. Life frequently overwhelms her.
The meeting went very well though. My presentation partners have their sections down. I still have work to do. They were very nice to me, maybe even indulgent, but I don't want that. If I were them, I would have been stern with me for not being as ready as I should have been. I'll be fine by Wednesday, but I hadn't done enough before this meeting.
Anyway, it was OK. After we finished, I went to catch a bus to go to Metrotown. I need to read the book The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King before my next book club meeting. It's been just out of reach at the library (too many holds), and was not available at my local bookstore, so I thought for sure I'd be able to get it at the huge Chapters at Metrotown. Fat chance! Zero copies available, "but you can order it at a kiosk." I guess I should have done that weeks ago, but I thought for sure I'd find it at a local store (preferably an independent bookstore, but it's too late now to be fussy).
If you're feeling overwhelmed, Metrotown is not the place to be, especially on a weekend not too long before Christmas. The place was swarming with shoppers. I love Metrotown when I'm in the mood, but on overwhelm days, it has a bit too much of everything.
Still, I figured since I was there, before I left I'd go to "shoe corner" to see if there were any nice walking pumps available. Even though the ones I have are from Nine West (outlet), they are foot manglers, at least on my feet, the kind you think will break in but never do. At Joneve, my new go-to store for decent shoes when I don't want to pay Nine West prices, I found exactly what I was looking for—plain black, medium heel (so I can actually walk further than between the car or taxi and wherever I'm going), almond toe, from Vianni, and on sale. I asked if they had it in a 10. Second strikeout of the day! Only as large as nine. I didn't find anything comparable at Spring or Nine West, and I was running out of juice to keep going.
I headed home. I went one stop further on SkyTrain than I normally would and gave myself a nice, brisk walk up the hill. I think I needed it. Just when I was getting to the park, I spotted my sweetie, on her way home from local errands. So that helped my mood to be able to unload a bit as we walked the rest of the way home together. And just having a little walk together was nice (I didn't whine the whole way).
Then later, while I was making lasagna, my cousin called as she was heading home from work. She just wanted to share what an incredible full moon there was rising over Deep Cove, a beautiful little corner of North Vancouver District on Indian Arm at the end of Burrard Inlet. Back in the summer, she and I had been hanging out at Sasamat Lake. An otter popped out of the water very close to us and sunned itself on a log. It was magical! I had called Sweetie to tell her about it, and my cousin was impressed. So she did the same for me this evening. And put a smile on my face as I saw the moon rise over the less scenic apartment building in my little city.
Sometimes, even when you're not doing well, people do nice little things. And put a smile on your face.