Ugh, a resolution

A few days ago, the Globe and Mail online posted a poll in which they said they would ask inappropriate questions. I figured I'd have fun with it. The questions weren't all that inappropriate anyway. The answers were all multiple choice, and they didn't have an "other" option. One of them was about what you planned to do differently in the new year. Lacking a better choice, I said "lose weight."

Little did I know that it was definitely the right answer for me.

I hadn't been avoiding scales. I just hadn't got on one in a while. I tend to go more by how clothes feel, how I look out of clothes in a mirror, medical indicators like blood pressure, and how I feel in general, and none of those gave me any cause for alarm. A little concern, but not alarm. But the scale I hopped on the other day told me a different story.

So I'm engaging in a cliché—a New Year's resolution to lose weight. Except I started already. No point in waiting for an arbitrary date! My new year started two months ago anyway. So I'm actually late in getting to this. But then, I hadn't realized it needed to be done.

Please understand that there is nothing fat-phobic about this. I get kind of inundated with writing about "healthy at any size" and no fat shaming and similar themes. If someone can be healthy at a larger size, great. Even if they're not so healthy, that's not my business. I have no interest in shaming anyone—including myself.

At the same time, I am firmly in the camp of healthy and fit. I don't think there should be shaming of larger people. But I do think an emphasis on reducing preventable obesity is good. If someone is large and happy with themselves, fine by me. I think everyone should be happy with themselves. But I know that I will be better off in many ways if I get closer to the weight I want to be. And it has nothing to do with societal pressure or my admitted obsession with fashion. It comes from me and it's for me. And I'm still happy with myself, even at this size. I'm just not going to stay here.

There won't be any diet. My strategy is simple. I'm already conscious of what I eat and the size of portions I allow myself. I will continue to do that, perhaps a little more rigorously. The main difference will be to get more active. I've been either going to the gym (the cross-trainer is my aerobic machine of choice) or taking those half-hour walks. I need to do one or the other pretty much every day.

I'm in this for the long term. It's not so much about quick, unhealthy, and unsustainable weight loss as it is about a lifestyle change. I thought I was living a healthy life, but I knew I had gotten too sedentary. Now I know that I don't like the results of that. And I will make the change I want.


MFA Mama said...

I'm kind of in the same boat. I was hesitant to even say anything because I knew I would get inundated with "but you don't look fat!" and "are you doing this for you or the patriarchy?" comments, and I totally did (plus Hotter likes me fluffy), but the fact of the matter is that my blood pressure was creeping up (it was still within normal limits, but I usually run in the high double-digits over sixties so "normal" is actually high for me), my joints were complaining, and my clothes didn't fit. So yeah...working on it. I put up a ticker on my sidebar for accountability's sake (I was pleased to see that you can do that without revealing your weight--mine shows my progress toward the goal and BMI). So we're in this together :)

Véronique said...

Always good to have a partner in crime. And me being heavier than I want to be is in no way a statement against the patriarchy. :)