2013/09/23

Twice as nice

It's Bisexuality Day. Or Bisexual Pride Day. Or something like that. A day for bisexuals, at any rate. A day for us to say we're proud of who we are, or at the very least unashamed. I'm never sure if "pride" is really the right word for something like sexual orientation. It's not an accomplishment! It just is.

Most people grow up realizing that they find people of the opposite sex to be sexually attractive. They know this because their bodies tell them so. The signs are unmistakable. And we have no more control over this attraction than we do over our heartbeats.

Others, far fewer, realize at some point that their bodies are telling them a different story. Despite being surrounded by a predominantly heterosexual world, they realize that they find people of the same sex to be sexually attractive. That's just the way it is.

It's strange when you realize, or maybe acknowledge, that you're not like the others. But at least it makes sense in a way. Same instead of opposite. It's either/or, and we're used to either/or. How much stranger it is when you realize that for you, it's actually both/and! When you realize that she stirs you and he stirs you in very similar ways.

Maybe you can't imagine that. A lot of people seem not to be able to. Or they deny that it's possible. But the body does not lie. Those of us who feel this way know that the doubters and accusers are wrong. They don't get it. And really, if it's not about you, then it's not, and just shut up. We know ourselves.

The funny thing is that even though it's strange to start with, soon it seems pretty normal, and it becomes more difficult to imagine that a person can go through life finding every single member of half of the human race to be sexually unattractive. Obviously that's true for the vast majority, but it still seems strange to me.

I can no longer imagine being any other way. Not looking for converts though. We all have to do what makes us happy and what our bodies tell us to do. You can't force it. I think all sexual attraction is a marvelous thing. Mine is no more marvelous than anyone else's. But certainly no less so.

7 comments:

Jillian Page said...

Happy Bisexuality Day, sis!

Cheers

Jill

Coline said...

Can those of us untroubled by any sexual lust get a day too?

Véronique said...

Coline, guess you'll just have to start Ace Day. BTW, if you're not asexual, sex isn't troubling. :)

Coline said...

Asexuality is not as simple as folk might think and we may have participated for other's pleasure but thankfully are not driven...

I have, because I am not driven, been an observer of countless numbers being troubled by sex. If it were not for folk being troubled by sex there would be hardly any songs, movies or books! You have no idea how difficult it is to find books without sex in them

Véronique said...

I don't think someone without sex drive can understand what it's like to have one, any more than I can understand what it's like to be asexual. No doubt some sexual people are troubled. I have certainly known the lows. But for me any lows are OK because the highs are such a wonderful and even profound experience.

Coline said...

If the evidence was that the majority were having wonderful profound experiences all the time rather than angst and disappointment I would be jealous...

The blind cannot understand a rainbow, the deaf only feel low vibrations and imagine trying to explain the joy of taste to someone with no active tastebuds so understanding the joy of sex is hard.

Understanding the pain of longing or the pain of betrayal or utter rejection for failing to meet current standards of beauty and desirability are easy to see. I suspect that overall sex causes more pain than pleasure.

Véronique said...

I suspect you're correct for certain people but incorrect in general, or else human beings would have give up sex long ago and none of us would be here.