À bientôt

Time for a break. A vacation and a little more.

I've already dialled way down on Facebook. It doesn't feel great to be less in touch with people, but right now I need to keep my Facebook minimal. I still hope you have a really good day on the anniversary of your birth. I still "like" your cute kid pictures, cute kitty pictures, vacation pictures, links to good posts, and especially personal posts from your heart. I still want to know what's going on. But the FOMO—fear of missing out—is reduced.

I have even become lax with Twitter. I still love to tweet and to read good tweets, but I know I'm going to miss things, and that's okay. And I'm getting closer to deleting my annoying LinkedIn account.

(I would mention that I already deleted my Ello account, but no one would care. Not even me.)

I've been taking more time to practise guitar, to work in my garden (thanks to this alarmingly beautiful spring), to watch the birds at the feeder, to get out for walks. To have quiet time. I love how my tattoo is coming along and can't wait for it to be finished. I love my new haircut. Stretching more and doing some yoga feel good. I've made a few small but beneficial changes.

Now, time to pull myself away from my laptop. In a couple of days, my only online connection for a week will be via my phone, and I am unlikely to do much if any extensive (mis)typing, or perhaps even much looking.

Time for swimming, walking, snorkeling, even cycling. Time for sun and warmth. Time for reading. Time for writing. By hand. On paper. Time for sitting outside under the stars. Time for listening to the island spirits. Time for doing anything or nothing.

Time to knock the meds back to some chilled pink girly wine and the occasional beer. This is vacation, not a retreat!

Time for thinking. Time for reflecting. I seem to need some time to reflect. I didn't realize that until very recently. As usual, I was slow to understand that something needed attention, and probably several things.

Not the basics. At least not most of them. Sweetie is still my dearest love—together for 34 years this month. I never tire of spending time with her. I'm probably going to work at my job until they let me go or I retire, whichever comes first. I don't think I'm heading toward any great upheaval in my life, although upheavals are notoriously difficult to predict.

Mostly I have my focus on the question, What do I really want in my life? What is good for me? What is not and should be left behind? What is bad in some ways and good in others and how do I sort that out?

I don't know how many years I have left. I don't know how many good years I have left. I need to take time now to understand better what to do with the rest of my time.

Even though I'm feeling okay about disconnecting, there is still some fear. It's not so much FOMO as it is FOLC: fear of losing connections. Connections with people, from family to besties to friends to acquaintances, are important to me. If I have to be less active about staying in touch with people for a while, will they go away? That needs a post of its own.

But not now.

Time for a break. Sending love!


Coline said...

A random google glitch brought me your way. Great to see that life is mostly sweet and especially with Sweetie. I dialled out of fb soon after being pestered to join, I enjoy a quiet life, only when that darn thing was switched off did I feel sane again...

Until the next glitch brings you my way, rock on.

holly said...

This really hit home! I deleted my Facebook account recently and definitely have some FOMC. <3