Family ties

Not our brownstone

After the Moncton-of-not-much-there and the fort-but-no-museum, we had an easy drive on a lovely day to Saint John, New Brunswick. Our Airbnb, a brownstone in the South End (a preservation area chock full of old buildings) was super cute and charmingly weird. Its long U shape with long connecting hallway meant that the media room and bedroom were quite separate from the kitchen, parlour, and bathroom. Our hosts, who lived in the basement suite (ground floor in the back), couldn't have been nicer.

That evening, we walked to Uptown to join Sweetie's sister and her wife at Grannan's for excellent seafood and great company.

We also spent much of the next day in Uptown. It's really the only neighbourhood in Saint John you want to go to, other than the South End. Uptown has the coffee shops and restaurants, the boutiques and the old churches, the thriving mall and the mall on life-support. The latter was home to the New Brunswick Black Historical Society, where we got a personal tour through history and artifacts from a volunteer elder whose family had lived in the area for several generations. There was a cruise ship in the harbour, but the Saint John Market was not too crowded, and we were able to get lunch.

That evening, we drove several kilometres east to my sisters-in-law's beautiful house on a bluff that overlooks the Bay of Fundy. We had a lovely dinner and lots of quality family and new (to us) dog interaction.

The drive the next day through southwestern New Brunswick into Maine was grey and wet. But there was a notable stumble-upon. If you love Reuben sandwiches and happen to be in Newport, Maine, or really anywhere near Newport, Maine, head to the Newport Diner. We had the best Reuben either of us has ever had. It was the epitome of Reubens. And with onion rings instead of fries, I was in hog heaven.

But Pancho is a sweetie

After the rest of a very long drive, we arrived in Hampton Beach. Our Airbnb was a suite in an old hotel, across from the beach, not far from the centre of the town. We had supper at the house of my older sister and her husband, whom I had not seen in seven years (and longer for Sweetie). The next day we took them out for seafood lunch, joined by their son from New York, our nephew, for extra family fun. It had been many years since I had eaten fried clams (with the bellies), and I enjoyed them thoroughly.

We tell my sister, we gotta arcade. We love to play skeeball and I love to play pinball. My sis says, come over after you're done, I want you to meet someone, and there is chocolate stout cake involved. I am not sus at all.

We arrive at the house to find the best surprise ever: five cousins on my father's side and my last living aunt, his younger sister, still pretty sharp at 97. I had not seen any of these folks since Christmas of 1992, before we went off to the Left Coast. The interaction among us was wonderful, full of stories I hadn't known. I was bowled over that my sister would think to get us all together and to be able to pull it off. And of course she and her husband hosted and fed us all. I am deeply grateful.

Before we left, after the extended family had departed, my brother-in-law demoed his extensive and engaging HO-scale train layout. I'm not sure how I had missed this every other time I had been at the house.

The next day, we got an early start, and by just after 10 we made it to eastern Connecticut and the home of my niece, the aforementioned older sister's daughter, and her husband and their children, the closest we'll ever have to grandchildren.

In two brief hours, my ex-teacher spouse won the hearts of two boys, one a bit reserved, in a variety of ways, from reading a funny story upon arrival to fist-bumping to say goodbye. I love kids, and I'm usually good with them, but Sweetie is next level and probably the level after that. Neither of us ever talks down to kids, which I think they appreciate. We went from funny old strangers to family in that short visit. We had a lovely time chatting with the grownups too, in between fawning over their offspring.

By early afternoon, we were in northwestern Connecticut, where my cousin and her husband live. I had contacted them to visit, and they said "come stay." She and her three siblings are my only first cousins on my mother's side of the family. The two nearby siblings, one with spouse, were able to come join us for an afternoon barbecue.

Pancho and bird feeder (birds not included)

The last time I saw any of these cousins was 10 years ago at my mother's memorial. In my cousins' lovely home and with their generous hospitality, we had a very convivial reunion. And after the party, we spent the evening and morning with our hosts, two of the loveliest people you could ever hope to meet. It was really the first substantial time we'd spent together, really the first time I've ever done that with any of my cousins. We learned that we all have a lot of common interests, and we never ran out of things to talk about.

We city dwellers also drank in the surroundings, the beautiful lot with fruit trees and a forest behind. We were kind of obsessed with watching the bird feeder, seeing different species than we have out west, notably rose-breasted grosbeak and tufted titmouse (cardinals were more elusive).

My family didn't live near the extended family. We were always the visitors, never really involved in our cousins' lives as they were in each others' lives. It was quite a profound experience to have some "late immersion" after so many years apart. And by confirming some stories and debunking others, it was also an educational experience for this family genealogist.

The party at my sister's was the family reunion that happens every Christmas but that I hadn't been to in over 30 years, and though the time was short, the love came thick and fast. The morning with our grands (and their parents) was so precious that I know we can't let the next meetup be another seven years from now, even if only by occasional video call. And getting to know my cousin, whom I've always known but have never known well, with her husband in their lovely house in that beautiful countryside, was profoundly gratifying.

All the family encounters were a pleasure and a priviledge beyond measure. I never knew how much I missed this kind of family interaction. I had not known how beneficial it would be for me.